Why You’re Beautiful

August 3, 2018

Hello, beautiful!!!

Yup, I’m talkin’ to you! No, not her…YOU!

How come you’re so surprised? Not used to thinking of yourself that way? Got some nasty mental chatter rattling around in your noggin? You know, ammunition to shoot down the positive stuff?

As in, your eyes could be a little bigger or your nose a little smaller? Or maybe your wisdom lines are deepening? Or there’s just too much of you on your bones to be considered beautiful?

Maybe you’re not outgoing enough? Or you secretly think you’re boring—like you’re just plain vanilla while all the interesting people are very berry explosion? Maybe you don’t see yourself as beautiful because you’re still single and nobody “wants” you.

Or maybe it’s because you’re not living the life of your dreams. I mean, don’t beautiful people live beautiful lives? Aren’t your mediocre looks and your mediocre life all mediocre because YOU’RE mediocre? And can I squeeze just one more “mediocre” into that sentence? [hee hee]

Ok, enough nonsense. Time to set the record straight. The truth is…


B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L !


You’ve probably not been told that enough in your life, so I’m gonna keep telling ya.

You’re so fantastically beautiful I wanna go running through the streets with gigantic billboards, shouting it through my homemade megaphone.

You’re BEAUTIFUL..FUL..FUL...FUL )) ) ) )

But I know. Even though I’m telling you the truth, you may not see it that way. Or you might only believe it when you’re having a super good hair day, had plenty of sleep, the sun is shining, your skin is clear, you’re wearing that new slimming outfit, getting lotsa compliments...yada, yada, yada.

It’s often a lot tougher to feel beautiful when your eczema is taking over your face. Or you’re fighting the flu. Or your dark circles are deepening. Or you’re in pain, gained yet another 5 lbs. and just had an argument with a loved one.

On these days it’s more like, “Uhhhh…good grief…I look like I’ve been run over by a truck…with a heavy load...that’s backed up a few times.”

Yup, I hear ya.

But, here’s the thing.

Our view of beauty is all screwed up.

Now I could launch into a rant about how companies convince us we need fixing so they can sell us a bunch of products. How society strips women of their wholeness so aspects of us can be marketed to men. How skin colour is falsely tied to class and then used to create standards of beauty. Or how our values are manipulated and transformed into phoney ones to serve the powerful.

And it’s all true. We’ve been sold a load of bahooey. Cow poop. Dung.

But as sucky as all this is, it’s not the only reason our notion of beauty is all messed up. The real reason is we’ve forgotten who we really are—spiritual beings of LOVE.


L - O - V - E

Sure, we’ve had lotsa crap thrown at us and a bunch of it stuck. But no matter. Cuz we’re still inside, shining brightly.

The problem with our notion of beauty is we’re trying to feel better about our outsides first. And that’s backwards. Donkey backwards.

Because if we’re not lovin’ our insides first, there ain’t enough makeup, skincare, cute outfits, weight loss, and cosmetic surgery in the world to make us feel good for long. Cuz those things are bandages. And they’re never gonna stop us from checking our worth in the mirror.


You see, the real issue isn’t that we don’t feel beautiful. It’s that we don’t feel worthy.

Because if we’d recognize how utterly peaceful, loving, and powerful we are, we’d stand in our true worth.


We wouldn’t feel controlled by our appearance. Our physical looks couldn’t rattle our self-confidence or shake our self-esteem. We’d just BE—the loving beings we are.

But when we don’t accept our real value, we don’t feel whole. Because we’re going against our true nature. And that taints everything we see outta our eyeballs.

That’s why it’s common for people to say, “You can’t love another til you love yourself first”. We may think we’re loving another purely and unconditionally but given a little time, things usually begin to unravel.

Because love flows from the inside-out. Which means, WE flow from the inside-out. And we can’t sustain lovingness to others when our inner being (aka the LOVE we are) is on lockdown.

It’s kinda like having a plugged toilet and convincing ourselves clean water can still flow. Instead of dealing with the clog, we try compensating by shining up the outer porcelain. But the fact remains—it still stinks.

Nope, nothing is powerful enough to maintain a constant outward stream of love when we aren’t in alignment with our true nature.

Got good intentions? Doesn’t matter.

Positive attitude? Won’t do it.

Strong will? Super-size determination and commitment? Wedding vows?

Nope. Nope. And nope. There just ain’t no shortcuts to being in sync with who you really are.

How do I know?

Ahhhh, because I’ve been living with clogged filters most of my life. I’m an expert hider, you could say. So I’ve seen first hand how plugging up my light affects the people around me. And it ain’t pretty.

It also ain’t pretty in-front of the bathroom mirror. You see, when I’m in the zone, and the light inside me is flowing like the Amazon, I have little use for mirrors. Cuz there ain’t nothing to check. I just feel good. And when I do find myself front and centre, the reflection lookin’ back at me is glowing.

On the flip-side, when I’m not in alignment—“Ughhhh!”

Not so good. That’s when I’m critical of myself. I see tiredness, grey thinning hair, age spots, and diminishing skin elasticity.

It’s kinda like, “Could I look any older?” And that, my friends, is a shot across the bow. It’s an early warning signal for me to get back in touch with the real me. You know, get back in the groove where I can embrace and accept the loving being I am inside.

Cuz, if I don’t, I’m simply creating fertile ground for cultivating further suffering. (More on suffering here and here.)

You see, when we forget we’re beautiful, it means we’ve started believing all the crazy messages bombarding us. We’re using the stuff around us to evaluate the stuff inside us. And there’re two things unhelpful about that.

First, assessing our beauty (and so, our worth) using the stuff around us is the wrong tool to use. Comparing our outer selves to the impossible standards of others and society will almost always intensify our suffering.

Second, it’s donkey backwards. Gotta focus on feeling better inside and the outside will take care of itself.

I should know cuz I’ve come from a long tradition of despising myself. Yup, reflecting back, I can honestly say I hated myself. Everything about me. I thought I was uglier than scum. Isn’t that just so sad?

But what’s fantastically wonderful is that I climbed outta that miserable place. Sure, sometimes I still slip up and fall flat on my face. But now I understand what’s happening, brush the dirt off my knees and stand tall.

You see, what I realized over time is this:

When I embrace that being inside me, I despise myself less.

The more I listen to her and act in accordance with her desires and wishes, the more I appreciate who she is. And the more I kinda like myself.

And then moments grow into days, days into weeks and so on. Until one day I realize I don’t hate myself any longer. In fact, I think I’m kinda cool!

And when I mess up?

Well, I know it’s because I’ve over-ridden my inner being in some way. I ignored that tiny yearning deep inside me to express something. I’ve pushed myself beyond my limits in order to please others. Or I’ve tried to take a short-cut to feeling good by attempting to control the people around.

All of it walks me further away from my who I really am and towards misery and self-hatred.

And that’s when I feel REALLY ugly!

What happens is the gap between who I am inside and who I’m being on the outside widens. And the wider the gap, the greater the pain and suffering. Despising parts of myself is simply the fast-track to suffering.

On the flip-side, when we free our inner being and become the same person inside and out, well, our beauty is EXTRAORDINARY. And that’s my whole point.

We don’t have to be perfect on the outside because everything on the inside is already perfect. And when we quit blocking the inside stuff it has this amazing effect on the outside stuff.

I mean, name one person you’ve observed whose smile LIGHTS up a room, whose completely DOWN-TO-EARTH, at EASE in his/her own skin, with that feel good, positive ENERGY that’s contagious. And now, tell me that person is ugly.

Ain’t gonna happen.

And it’s the same with me. AND YOU!

You were beautiful BEFORE you were born, you’re beautiful NOW, and you’ll remain beautiful AFTER you depart this physical world.

Because everything about you is ALREADY beautiful.

And one more thing.

You’re WORTHY exactly as you are.

Do you hear me?


You hold value just because you’re YOU.

Because there’s no one else in the entire universe that’s JUST LIKE YOU. Because you have your own unique fingerprint to impress upon the world.

You have your own way of lookin’ at things. Your own way of expressing stuff. Your own unique energy.

What makes you DIFFERENT is what makes you AMAZING!

Short, tall. Big, round. Black, brown, white. That’s the package you arrived in. But the real gift is inside the package. There you are.


Only venturing out only when you feel safe. When you figure you’ll be accepted. When you feel perfect enough.

Disguising your inner treasures. Holding in all that YOU-NESS that makes you GORGEOUS—instead of letting it all soar freely.

But you can’t fool me.


I see your beauty. And your worth. And your wholeness.

I see the light that is YOU.


Eagerly awaiting to be released.

Wanting to shine.

To be free.

To END your suffering.

So you can live FULLY and COMPLETELY.

And BE the JOY that you are.

So don’t wait for tomorrow. Don’t wait until you feel braver. Don’t wait another minute. Because you deserve it all—to the moon and back.

You don’t need to be prettier. Or younger. Or skinnier. Or funnier. Or, or, or.

Just consider letting go of it all. Imagine how free you could really feel without the weight of comparison and expectation.

Imagine just being your natural you. It’s the most honest thing you can do.

Cuz bringing out the inside you is being truthful about who you really are. It’s standing in your magnificence. And there’s simply nothing more BEAUTIFUL than that.

Sparkle Brightly—

Disclaimer: This is a personal blog and I’m not a mental health professional. Obviously. I can’t possibly know your full situation so please consult a professional before acting upon information from yourpurpleswan.com. Should you decide to act of your own accord, you do so at your own risk. Kinda like skydiving.

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